Drive It Like You Stole It

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess Normal,

Xmas is officially underway in our house. I was thinking about presents at the weekend. And because I am a BA, I have started a spreadsheet. 

Shut up. You'll feel bad about your mockery when you receive something thoughtful and AWESOME*.

I'd been thinking about a Lazer-Tag game for The Nipper. I know his parents love games and larking about, so it seemed to me perfect for them. As it turns out, Toy World had a special on the EXACT ones I was going to buy, so I went ahead and got them. 

"I always tell my kids there's no Xmas this year," said Lemon when she saw them. 

I should explain. Lemon is a mean lady, with a mean sense of humour. Fortunately, her kids seem to understand this.

"Yes there is! Yes there is!" they chorus. "There is SO a Xmas!"

"Well, yes," she concedes. "But it is Jesus's birthday, not yours."

One of her boys shot back, "But he's DEAD."

You can't argue with that. "God is dead. Can I have his bike?" is actually the complete quote from Nietzsche.

Lemon's two boys grasp of theology is apparently a little shaky. One of them came home and admitted that he'd only scored 12 out of 100 on his Sunday school test. 

"Oh, I don't care," replied Lemon. It is true. She does not. She sends them to Sunday school purely because she thinks it helps instill a sense of community. I get that. But she's not at all religious. "I couldn't give a shit if they don't know who Paul Simon is," she told me.**

"You really don't care?" asked her boys.

"No, I'd rather you focussed on your real school work," she replied.

"In that case I got eight," said the second boy.

So a productive day then. I continued to fart about with my EA Sparx data model. It's a nice waste of time. Also, it's not so demanding that I can't listen to music. Today I put on the Sing Street soundtrack which reminded me of a brilliant night out with my lovely friend and having my mint slapped by a bouncy barmaid. 

Princess, have you shared "Sing Street" with the Mini-Princesses? I think you should. Mojitos optional.

S.

* Knickers, socks and a book token.

** If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be my long-lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me, you can call me Al
      - From Saint Paul-Simon's, "Letter to Betty" verse 1