The last few clowns...

...I drew with coloured crayons 10 years ago.

Now I will have to make up those books tomorrow for the grandchildren with them.

My car was collected for service today. Then awhile later I got an email from the car service people.

But...

The results of the car service was in the form of a video of my car and the car technician telling me the results verbally, although the car technician was off screen. So there is this video of the back end of my car on its number plate...very exciting...

But I am profoundly deaf, and a video of my car’s back end with a voiceover explaining the results of the service is as useless as it is possible to get.

Anyway I saw the little caption logo, so I pressed that and played the video again...but the subtitles/captions were in Polish. So I look for English subtitles.

There weren’t any English subtitles but I did have one other option from subtitles menu...guess what it was? It was in Dutch...

I am speechless...but not as speechless as I was yesterday...it’s too long a story to explain but I had to get out of the house early yesterday morning, but it was too early to meet my friend, so I went into that pub chain where you buy one coffee and it’s free refills all day.

I haven’t been back since I was in another branch a couple of months ago and a man burst into the Disabled toilet brandishing a knife when I was sitting down on the throne...

I needed the toilet before I drove to see my friend. So I went to the bar and asked if the Disabled toilet was open, and she said yes. (The normal toilets are up two flights of stairs which I cannot do). I asked her if she would come with me to check, but she said she was too busy serving.

With trepidation I approach the Disabled toilet. I badly need to go. There was the green on the handle, which meant it was vacant. However to be on the safe side I knocked first...and the door was flung open by an able bodied man who had been inside. He was stripped to the waist and his hair was dripping in water and lathered with soap, as was his extraordinarily hairy chest.

He is dancing from side to side. “You want to use the toilet?”, he said.

Actually I don’t with this apparition in front of me, but he steps out and ushers me in, then leaves and closes the door. The whole of the Disabled toilet has soapy water splashed all over the walls and the floor, and the ceiling, and when I look at the toilet seat there is soapy water on there as well...

I hover without even touching that toilet, because I urgently need to go.

I unlock the door, but he swings it open for me, jovially asking me if I am fine. There is a huge puddle of dripping water at his feet. He has long black curly dripping with water hair. I nod and and he goes back into the Disabled loo...and I escape...

My friend asks me why I have all the adventures...”nothing happens like that to me” she says.....