Stop Eating My Sesame Cake!

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess Normal,

Cazza is away, so the boys are being subjected to my taste in films. Poor little buggers.

Yesterday, we watched "Congo" which is possibly one of the worst films ever made, yet I love it so. Fat Pete recommended it to me in 1999 and I remember renting it from Blockbuster and putting it on. 

It is the story of an American corporation, looking for pure "blue" diamonds to use in their new satellite communications network. They send an expedition to Africa to locate same, but while the team locates the diamonds they are all MYSTERIOUSLY KILLED. Laura Linney plays Scientist Lady who goes to find out what happened to them.

But she needs a cover story, as she is ex-CIA, so hooks up with Gorilla Bloke, who is taking Amy the Gorilla back to the Congo to live in the wild. Amy is quite special. She can do sign-language and goes around in the film saying things like "Amy, good gorilla" and "Ugly Lady" to Laura Linney. 

Rude.

The whole "Return Amy To The Wild" thing is funded by Tim Curry, playing a Romanian philanthropist. I remember calling Fat Pete:

ME: Tim Curry just came into it! He said that he was, "a Reumah-nian pheelanthorpeest, naow free of ze bonds of Chow-chess-coo, travellink ze vorld and doink gut".
FAT PETE: Hold it right there. I'm coming round with chips and salsa.

And he did. And we had one of those brilliant nights you occasionally have with your mates. I think it took us three hours to watch that film, because we kept having to stop it and re-watch bits.

It's such a strange film, because it has a great cast and was obviously made on a big budget, but it is absolutely bonkers. My favourite scene is when Gorilla Guy is confronted by a silverback and freezes.

GUIDE: Don't move. If you run...
GORILLA GUY: I know. I mustn't show fear.

The silverback displays and ROOOOOARS. And Gorilla Guy doesn't flinch. Eventually he turns around to see EVERYONE else has disappeared. The guide pops up from behind a bush to say, "Well done!"

Then there's the bit where the native bearers start singing their native song, "California Dreamin'" by The Mamas & The Papas. And the bit where Tim Curry is told "STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE!!!" For no good reason.

Occasionally, you'll have such a good night watching a film with your mates and you'll always have an affection for that film, no matter how silly it is or if it features gorillas drinking Martinis. For me, "Congo" is such a film*.

As I recall, we loved "Congo" so much we had to watch it again, next time with Bokhara & Mad Dog. I had just bought myself a radio-controlled fart machine and much hilarity was had with it all evening.

At the end of the film, Cazza came in from a night out with her mates. She came in and sat down and asked us how our film had been, I pressed the button.

SQUELCH

The four of us obviously thought this was the most hilarious thing ever. "Oh for Christ's sake," said Cazza.

Fat Pete, that incident explains a lot about our friendship, I think.

S.

* Along with "The Prisoner of Zenda", "The Pentagon Wars", "Deep Rising", "Deep Blue Sea" and of course, "Wrath of the Titans".