(Don't Fear) The Reaper

My Dear Princess & Dear Fellows,

I got into work today and everyone was asking if I'd seen the strange man hanging around outside the office.

I told them I had not.

"He's just STANDING there and STARING and he's got a KNIFE!" they told me.

Alarming.

"He freaked me out," said Lemon. "I think he could tell. He was completely motionless except when I went past and he turned and he LOOKED at me."

I strained to look out of the window but I could see nothing.

"Ooooh! Did you see 'im?!" said Smock as she rocked in. "Did yer see that zombie feller? Ooooh, I thought he was GRATE! Thought he was GRATE, I did!"

"Are you kidding me?" replied Lemon. "He was FREAKY."

"There he goes!" said Smock. "Crossing the road!"

I looked out and it was Michael Myers from Halloween. It occurred to me that the new filum is out today. I expect they have "Michaels" stationed all over town for publicity. I think I might go and see it on Monday (Monday is a public holiday here).

Meanwhile the young people were excitedly talking between themselves. "Did you see Jason??" they asked each other.

IT IS NOT JASON.

IT IS NOT A "ZOMBIE FELLER".

IT IS MICHAEL EFFING MYERS!

That is what I wanted to say. But I held it in. No-one likes a horror nerd. They look at you sideways and scuttle away. But the fact remains that I am the only effer in my office who knew who the "freaky man" is. 

And likely the ONLY ONE who is going to see his film on Monday. 

And DEFINITELY the only one in the office who had watched BOTH "Halloween" and "Halloween II" JUST THIS WEEK TO GET IN THE MOOD.

Naturally, when I went out hunting for Michael at lunchtime, armed with my phone for a blipertunity, he was long gone. 

SO unfair.

Here is a picture of pretty flowers instead.

Stupid pretty flowers.

S.