How to open a bottle of wine

Take the following
1 book club Xmas party
1 bottle of Merlot
3 ladies and
2 shoes.

For some reason the cork would not come out so we tried to push it in with the heal of N shoe as it was the highest pair we has among us. C had the heaviest pair so used it as a hammer. Please remember we had just had 4 cocktails each. In the picture is C , G , C and N.