Autumn fashions

This Autumn, we will be wearing a tradition melange of browns and greens but with highlights of orange and crimson. Hemlines are going down whilst necklines are moving up. This Autumn, conspicuous enjoyment will be out and ennui in. We will all be aspiring to melancholy. If you are in a relationship, start to undermine it. The fashion-conscious singletons are forming attachments now so that they will have someone to break up with later. Look out for smudged mascara and tear-stained cheeks.

Heartbreak is the new Black.