George, Don't Do That!

In an old black and white movie
called ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’
a character named George Bailey
says to Mary, his future wife,

‘You want the moon? Just say the word
and I’ll throw a lasso round it
and bring it down.’

But if George did do that
the moon’s gravitational pull
would cause a huge tidal bulge
which would be dreadful;

low tides would get lower,
high tides would get higher,
and, as the moon got even nearer,
close enough for us to wave at and shout Hiya!,

it would exert a gravitational force
400 times greater than we’re used to.
There would be large scale flooding.
Cities such as London and New

York would disappear under water.
There would be earthquakes. Volcanoes
would erupt. Our wonderful lives
would be pretty messed up. Those

are not good things to think about (though they
would suit a disaster movie. Very dramatic!).
Clearly, George was not considering such matters
when he was getting all romantic!