A Little More Conversation, A Little Less Action

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess Normal,

Back in 2000, I took Cazza back to Scarborough to meet my parents. I told her what my dad was like. "Very logical, very cool, doesn't care for animals, hates cats."

We got to their front door. A short Irishman opened it. He was wearing a cat t-shirt and there was a cat on his shoulder. "Come in! Come in!" he said, beaming. "Oh this is just Blackie, don't mind him, come along kitten," he cooed to the enormous black moggie as it leapt down.

Look. I swear I wasn't lying. My dad underwent some sort of Damascene Conversion in the 1990's. Only in my dad's version, Jesus was a cat. 

He explained later that, when my mum was sick, cats had been a great source of solace for her. And he'd come to understand how empathetic and caring they can be. Still, it didn't help me cope with the shock of that first night at his house in 2000. "And THIS is the cat playroom," he announced proudly as he showed us around.

I'm not kidding. An entire room full of cat toys, with three cats in it, ignoring them all.

But I suspect such a future awaits me too. As you know I am bonkers about my two boys. I just love them. And in fact today I accidentally called Jasper by Princess Normal's name, which is a sure sign that I'm on the road to mad cat person-dom.

"Oh C," I told Jasper, "you are so pretty and fluffy. Do you want a plate of Whiskas?"

Jasper looked at me like I was a fecking eejit, but then again he does that all the time. It occurred to me what I had done. I think it was because I was anticipating my phone call with the Princess later that day.

And the Princess was on top form. We got talking about improving one's education by taking additional classes. But because we are us, it all turned very rude very quickly. Apparently the Princess knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who took this sort of a class - 

WAIT!

STOP!

While this link is not really graphic, it is VERY RUDE. Do not click on this link unless you want to know about rude things! Mini-Princess - step AWAY from the link!

Very Rude Link About Rude Things

So obviously that got me and the Princess giggling. Naturally, I had to share with Cazza too after I got off the phone. "Ewwww!!" she said. "Imagine the homework!"

It was too late. I was already imagining it. 

I suppose some people take classes like these to keep their marriages fresh, I ventured. Like if your chat had run out and you weren't really communicating anymore. 

"Well it's not like you'd be able to have a full on conversation in the middle of THAT," spluttered Cazza. I suppose she has a point. But still, I worry sometimes that me and Cazza only ever talk about work and telly these days. Cats too, of course. Cats are a major subject of conversation.

Maybe I should encourage Jasper to ride on my shoulder. That will give us something new to talk about. Think of the money I will save on apples.

S.