Bring Back The Cat!

As I see it, there are two ways to deal with the growing crisis of our impoverished elderly . . .

1. The capitalist solution: Let them buy (at a discount, of course) one of these mincers and a powerful flashlight. Then they can roam the streets at night capturing cats and rats and other animals of the night - teenagers, drunks, whatever - and enjoy fresh food. This will make them proudly self-sufficient, rather than a strain on the coffers of society. After all, our governments have better things to do with the shrinking national treasure, such as building nuclear submarines that don't float and fighter planes that can't fly . . .

2. The socialist solution: Let's all (especially tax-dodging corporations) agree to pay a little more tax so the state has no excuse to deny our parents and grandparents the right to live in dignity during their later years. That means not being forced to live in cold, dark homes eating cat food because society doesn't give a toss about paying adequate pensions . . .

Hmm, lock up your cats!