sketching.

One day i will find you, Mother. I don't know how yet, but one day I will walk out of these doors and I will take a train to the place I've heard that you inhabit, and I will knock your door and find you. You will look at me and hate me probably, because you never wanted me. But you will realise that I live, I am living, and that no matter what, I am yours. Even if you do not want me. I am aware that you don't want me around, and you most likely don't want to know me, but I want to know you. I want to know why you never wanted me around, I want to know why it is that you couldn't be bothered to feed me, and look after me when I screamed upstairs in the bed you made me. I wonder why it is you concieved me, and I wonder why you never aborted me. I am grateful you didn't. Because my life is wonderful. I belong with you, you belong with me. My mother. I have a girlfriend, yes I am gay, just another apprehensive quality I am sure, but honestly, I am so happy. I love her, her name is Bethan Collerton and she is 4"11.5, which is very small. I can't wait to show you her. But I know that you don't want to know. Some day you'll have another daughter, in law sure, but another daughter none the less. To add to your collection. I am sure you have children of your own, and I am sure that you are not so tired of their intreaguing qualities, difference is that you can be bothered with them, whereas I came too soon into your life and therefore you grew tired of me. I hope you are thriving, and I hope you are happy. I also hope that you are coping, and I hope you accept that I will visit you, and that you will not banish me the way you so wish you could. I wish more than anything that you could love me in time, the way I have always loved the idea of knowing you. Though somedays I despise you, because if you'd never let me go, you'd have come to know a girl you would appreciate, as I am funny, ambitious, and cuter than anyone would have guessed. But you couldn't see that, could you, Mother.

This is my drawing of Bethan. I hate her parents sometimes, but I love her always.