An interesting event

When I was on Kökar the day before I left, I went on a boat trip with my friend. The sun was shining and I had my hat on, as usually. I have inherited this hat from my older son's grandmother. The hat is from the 1960's. I'm quite attached to it, as I've had it for about 20 years.

When we left the harbour with a motor boat, the wind twitched the hat from my head. My friend stopped the boat and I saw my hat immediately starting to sink. I was very upset, my friend saw where it landed on the bottom of the sea. I took one of the oars and tried to fetch it, the second time I succeeded.

What I experienced was rather interesting; when I saw the hat sinking, I felt for a short moment that I want to go down with it. This might sound a bit dramatic, I have experienced so many things together with my hat. When I got the hat back up, I cried.

I started to think that my reaction was pretty strong, after all it was a question about matter. Did I feel that the hat was a part of my identity? Probably so, at the moment, this is something to explore. The hat is obviously not who I am, fortunately I understand that.

It is about something bigger, pain of surrendering. Fear of death. I think it is important to remind myself that nothing is permanent. We often live on autopilot, as we would live forever. I also know that talking about death is a taboo, at least in our culture.

It is worth remembering death, because then we can appreciate life and be more grateful.

The picture is taken after the incident. Her names is Birgitta.