The Pentagon Wars

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess Normal,

I'm quite enjoying sitting next to Lemon. We generally have at least one non-work chat a day. I suspect that number may grow over time. 

She told me that she used to work for the NZ Defence Force (as a Business Analyst that is, she hasn't invaded anywhere, that I'm aware of). And she was telling me some horror stories of governmental waste.

"Oh," I said, "have you seen a film called 'The Pentagon Wars'?"

Mad Dog & Auslaender know all about this one. It was one of our favourite films, back in the day. It's a true story about how a large project can so easily go from noble aspirations to "oh fer eff's sake just get the effing thing finished and b*gger the quality" in the blink of an eye.

For some reason, back when we all worked on the RX project together, that film became one of the most shared-about VHS tapes. It was like our lives, but in a film, with the part of our Evil Delivery Manager being played  by Kelsey Grammer*.

In the movie, the Pentagon has been working on a new armoured troop deployment vehicle for well over a decade. They've spent billions on it, and - to ensure that no-one ever finds out that it doesn't actually work, they attempt to rig all the field tests to make it look BRILLIANT.

(The fact that it is about to be deployed in the field where real people will use it and die in it, not so much of a concern).

Cue the hero of the movie, who is desperate to prove it is a death-trap. He decides to load it with sheep, drive it into a field and hit it with a missile to prove that the result would be lamb chops for dinner.

HOWEVER, the very next day he arrives to find the wily general in charge has set up "The Department of Ruminant Procurement" for all official sheep requests. Oh, and it has a 3 month backlog in processing sheep-paperwork.

I loved that. So much. And so did Lemon. She came in today raving about it. "That was BRILLIANT!" she told me. "And it was all true??"

You've got to hope it was. I do love a good yarn. And if you want to see what Lemon enjoyed so much about it, she told me that she found it on YouTube.

S.

* I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs. They're calling again.