You are so much better than I was....

Today I spent some time with Bella for the first time in three weeks. It was wonderful, and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep when she left and had a two-hour nap. I'm still taking antibiotics and steroids; my energy is very low. But I'm no longer contagious, and the sinus infection is abating.

First thing when I woke this morning, my friend Devorah had sent me this link to a five-minute speech by President Obama, thanking his campaign workers and being moved to tears. He is tired and worn, grateful, relieved, and he tells them, "You are so much better than I was."

This is exactly what helps us age, we who are passing on. Knowing that they are better than we were, that they will carry on, that they may find ways to fix what we did wrong: this is what makes it possible to let go with love. As I was looking at the babies today in Spanish Baby Time, I thought about that. They are so much better than we were. And they need to be, because we leave them with such a mess.

This poem, then, from Naomi Replansky, who wrote it when she was 94 years old:

Walking Back

Did I go there?
Did I say that?
Ashamed, I deny it.
Proud, I affirm it.

Those are my tracks.
So easy to lose them
in swamps, in lush grass,
in crowds, on concrete.

Old maps outworn,
new ones undrawn,
landmarks defaced
by storm or by vandals.

Initials carved
in ancient trees,
children shouting
in a changed grammar.

Was I that child
who looks back at me?
Her spine is straighter,
her gaze is clearer.

--Naomi Replansky