The Mountain and Muhammad

Despite extensive negotiations extending deep into the night, FIFA and the Russian authorities have taken the completely unreasonable stance that they are not prepared to delay the kick-off time of the England - Sweden match on Saturday afternoon. Faced with this intransigence, the organisers of the St. Firmins Church, North Crawley, Garden Fete have reluctantly decided to bring the start time forward by two hours.

I hope FIFA and Putin are grateful.