Wee Are Best Friends

My Dear Princess & Dear Fellows,

This is a piece of artwork in the office. I am not sure what the point of it is, but then I do not understand art. Not at all. May I remind you of my recent, "That Van Gogh is a piece of sh*t" debacle.

I have really been very busy in the office lately. But that is boring and dull so let us not dwell on it. Instead let me tell you about the fact that it was another Princess Phone-Call day. 

Once again, the Princess made me cry with laughter until I was just about ready to wee myself. And then it hit me:

ME: I have to tell you something. I need to wee. 
PRINCESS: Do you want to hang up and call me back?
ME: I can't be bothered, you are coming with me.

I tried to hold in the splashy noises, and in fact, probably could have got away with doing a big wee with the Princess none the wiser if only I had not been so upfront about needing a huge waz in the first place.

DAMN YOU HONESTY.

PRINCESS: Go for it. It doesn't bother me.
ME: Does my voice sound funny? I've never peed while talking before. 
PRINCESS: No, it just sounds very echoey in there.
ME: I'm trying to remain calm.
PRINCESS: Are you still doing it? My god.
ME: Look, I've been holding this for AGES.

As I explained to the Princess, I think this takes our friendship to the next level. We may be continents apart, yet for a moment I was incontinent with her. I think this brings us closer together.

I might do a poo during our next phone call. Then we will practically be like - HHNNNgnnnngggh - family.

S.