Poor Carlos Cueva:

The unfortunate Peruvian missed a first half penalty, and then saw his team lose 1-0, to Denmark. Despite raining in 17 shots at goal, Peru could not get one past Mrs Schmeichel's strapping lad. Art was defeated by labour, as sometimes happens in football. I have a soft spot for Peru, whose citizens I found hospitable and welcoming, when I travelled there in 1987. Oh well, they just need to beat France now.