Lovely & Annoying

My Dear Princess & Dear Fellows,

We are all in long-term relationships so I'm sure you'll understand me when I say that although we obviously LOVE our partners very much, and wouldn't CHANGE them in ANY way and have shared many SPECIAL AND PRECIOUS moments with them, there also comes a time when one has to admit some of THEIR HABITS can get RIGHT up one's WEE-WEE HOLE.

Cazza, for example, dislikes my predilection for pedantry. I do TRY not to correct her when she gets facts wrong but sometimes I can't help myself. And today we got off to such a good start too. With a compliment.

"It's so nice that you tidied the kitchen," she said. "Because normally it's me doing it every day."

Isn't that nice? But ahem... well... I think you'll find... ACTUALLY...

She saw the look on my face and reiterated. "EVERY. DAY."  

"I do SO much housework around here," she continued, "I do things you don't even know about."

"Well, that's AS MAY BE," I countered. "But I OFTEN have to tidy the kitchen WHILE MAKING DINNER AT THE SAME TIME."

"Lies!" she said.

"I've done it AT LEAST TWICE this week," I said. "So it's NOT every day."

"Fine. Then," she replied. Words which imply it is most definitely NOT fine then. "You couldn't let me have that, could you? You HAD to correct me."

And THEN Cazza got mad at me for leaving the cat-biscuit bowl in the middle of the kitchen floor where she kicked it, scattering biscuits everywhere. 

Which is SO UNFAIR. Because it is not ME who sits in the middle of the kitchen floor mee-yowling for cat-biscuits in that SPECIFIC SPOT and no other. 

IS IT, JASPER?

He is a little hairy troublemaker.

So that's how I annoy Cazza. Meanwhile, she has a habit of NOT being ready for the taxi driver. Always has. Irritates the almighty EFF out of me because it means I have to sit and make, "Yeah, yeah, she's still getting ready. Huh. Chicks eh?" conversation with the sexist taxi driver while she finishes off her hair and goes for a wee. 

I HATE MAKING SEXIST CONVERSATION.

So today we decided to go on a date to see "Deadpool 2". And the movie was due to start in 15 minutes and Cazza was flicking her hair about in front of the mirror. "Shall I order an Uber?" I asked, trying to sound non-judgey and husbandy about it. "Shall I?" I said. "Will you be ready in five minutes?" I continued, noting that the tone of my voice was going up and up but somehow unable to stop it. "Will you? Be ready? If I order it now? Five minutes? Be ready? Will you?"

"Yesyesyes!" 

Fine then.

So I ordered it and of course she wasn't ready despite me saying helpful things like, "Oh that sounds like the taxi pulling up outside now" and "Yes, yes it is, that's the taxi all right" and "Oh that's the taxi driver calling me on my phone because he's outside. Right now."

So despite our intending to have a nice date, it was a bit testy by the time we got to the movie. But then we got booked into Gold Class which means reclining seats and cocktails. Cazza ordered a Cosmopolitan and I got an Apple Martini because I'm like this effing Noel Coward type sophisticate.

And of course once we got settled in with our drinks and talked about the previews and made plans to see more movies, all was forgiven. And then the movie was great and we laughed all the way through and it turned out to be a Nice Date after all.

I suppose that's the good thing about being in couples. We can irritate the ess out of each other and still end up holding hands and making plans to do this all over again. Let's face I'm never going to stop being an annoying pedant. Cazza accepts that about me. And she is never EVER going to be on time for the taxi. I suppose that's all right too. 

Chicks eh? 

S.