world’s worst gardener

I am a terrible gardener but quietly pleased that I managed to keep these alive. One day I’ll improve and in the meantime I understand why God gave us a very small garden!

Today was my 36 week appointment at the hospital to discuss delivery. I felt haunted by last time when I’d gone on my own and the waiting room was full of mother-daughter bonding. Having lost Mum only weeks before, I ended up sobbing on a consultant who just wanted me to fill in a form to book a section or a VBAC! I failed in that task and had to go back the following week once I’d pulled myself together somewhat.

Today I sat in the waiting room feeling deeply unconfident about another VBAC and praying God would give me a hand. I really felt those prayers were answered - the midwife called my name and it was the amazing woman who delivered Zeke. She remembered my story, I remembered hers (Z was her first delivery after a period out of work so we managed to empower one another somehow). And then my consultant was attentive and thorough and made me feel safe and heard. There’s a slight question mark over baby’s size so he’s asked for a scan and talked to me in detail about safe induction (having had a section previously) if it were necessary. So much kindness, intelligence and care in the NHS.