Fartypants

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess,

Smock farted all over me today. She is at the desk next to mine and I know it was her because at least one of them was audible.

Fffffffrrrrrpp!!

Like that.

But she must have done more than one, because there was a smell of peanuts hanging around me all day.

I was feeling appalled by this, but then felt a bit farty myself on the way home. I decided to let a cheeky silent one go in Countdown supermarket because hey, who's to know. At least it was supposed to be silent but actually it went 

THPBBPPPPPTTTT!!

Ooh, I was black affronted. And right next to the chilled meats too. 

I ran away from it as quickly as possible and hoped no-one noticed. 

And obviously, I didn't buy any chilled meats in that supermarket.

S.