Burning Love

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess Normal,

I had such a lovely chat to the Princess last night. I do love our fortnightly chats. This week we discussed:

- The Queen shagging Brad Pitt
- Other animals you could use to describe the foof instead of the regular ones. Like "marmot" or "guinea pig" or "badger".
- My reality show to choose a friend in Wellington (I would hand out poos to the losers during the "Jobbie Ceremony")
- The perils of Very Dull People
- A man who got his willy stuck in a bottle opener
- A child that the Princess knows as "that little ginger f***" (she then added, "You know some of my friends think I lack a maternal side".)

I also told her she was SILLY and STUPID to be running on a gammy leg and she accused me of not supporting her until I said, "Yay Princess! You are like a hero to me!" and she seemed happy with this even though we both knew it was b*llocks.

So that was good. But today it left me very tired. This is because right after talking to the Princess, I then have to repeat the highlights for Er Indoors. I really should take notes next time.

The weather here in Wellington has taken a turn to the cold. It has been very windy and rainy and yesterday we even got hail. Er Indoors has turned up the radiant heater, and her side of the bed has an electric blanket.

"I was wrapped up with socks, jarmy bottoms and two t-shirts last night," she told me. "What about you?"

I admitted that I had slept naked in front of a fan.

"What is WRONG with you?!?" she said.

I said I did not know. But then it occurred to me to venture it might be my newly-discovered high blood pressure which I am using to justify all sorts of behaviours lately. From a desire to go to bed early, to a strange craving for sausages for dinner.

ER INDOORS: Can we put on "Big Brother Canada"?
ME: Er. I'm not sure my new high blood pressure can take it.

"High blood pressure!" she snorted. "I've got effing high blood pressure!!" snapped Er Indoors, demonstrating that yes indeed, she does. "You're just WEIRD."

It is true. I am like this little radiator, burning up and warming the air around me like a radiant heater. I do not know why. Maybe I am just happy, and this is me putting out good energy. Maybe this is just what happens to me after talking about The Man Who Got His Willy Stuck In A Bottle Opener.

S.