A Speculative Look

I watched this scrub jay as he contemplated from several angles the suet holder hanging from the plum tree. He has been furiously chasing off the raven for days, but seems to have the place to himself today, and can't settle on the best approach. Sort of the same way Ozzie sizes up the back of the car, only, unlike the jay, Ozzie refuses to jump up. 

As is their practice, OilMan and Ozzie got up before me this morning and went up to sit in the arbor and watch the sunrise. At least OilMan did. Ozzie came back down the stairs and went into the bushes where he encountered a skunk. The reason I know this is because he then came inside, walked all the way back to our bedroom where I was still sleeping, and stuck his reeking nose into my face. Not the best way to arise, which I did with some alacrity. 

OilMan was nowhere to be found as I hustled Ozzie outside, but eventually emerged from his shed. Our furious, semi-shouted conversation began thus:
ME "Ozzie got into something and smells horrible"
OILMAN "He came out of the bushes foaming at the mouth and started furiously rolling in the ...what is that stuff called ...chamomile".
ME "He does NOT smell like chamomile. He smells like skunk!"
OILMAN "But he was rolling in the chamomile..."
ME (furiously) "Why in the hell do you think he was foaming at the mouth and rolling in the chamomile?
OILMAN (comprehension dawning)  "Oh"...
While this exchange was taking place, Ozzie decided this morning wasn't going according to plan and went back in the house through the dog door which he practically never uses...
"Get him out of the house", I hissed at OilMan. 

Things did not go smoothly, but eventually we washed Ozzie down with the time tested antidote of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and Dawn detergent OilMan's apparent cluelessness notwithstanding, we are not neophytes in the dog vs. skunk department.  By the time Ozzie was sufficiently rinsed, OilMan needed washing down too, and I was quite ready to do the honors with the garden hose....

Order restored, we walked over to Dana's to see if we could borrow her hedge clippers to cut our big clumpy grasses which should have been cut in October. Instead we were evacuated for two weeks and by the time we got back, cutting the grasses was at the bottom of the list of to do's. Until today.

As soon as we got into the house Dana said, "Ozzie smells like a SKUNK!"  After endless negotiations over how to get a large hedge clipper and a stinky dog back to our house, Dana reluctantly let us put said dog in her car and drive dog clippers and a very long branch saw back to our house. We had enough trouble communicating with each other on how to accomplish this, that Dana finally allowed as how she'd better come cut the grasses herself, which she did, allowing OilMan to collect the massive amount of cut grass, but not to touch the hedge clippers.

OilMan is now lying on the couch with hay fever.
Did I mention that he is allergic to grass?