Cardy & Smock!

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess,

I had to ask for a cardigan. This is because Unsupervised Purchases are not allowed. And this is especially the case when it comes to cardigans. 

Er Indoors has feelings about cardigans - i.e that they are scruffy, old-buggery items of clothing and that wearing them constitutes waving a white flag at fashion and saying, "I give up, pass the adult pull-ups and a pair of carpet slippers please".

But I get cold at work some days, so I asked Er Indoors for a cardigan that she could approve of and not divorce me and she came up with this. It arrived while Feefs and Shetland Dad were here. 

"So if your boss is 'Smock' because she always wears a smock..." suggested Feefs. "Does that mean you are 'Cardy'?"

"Eff off," I said. 

"No but really..."

"No but really, eff off Feefs."

Bloody cheek. 

But today at work, I was thinking maybe we ARE Cardy & Smock. We sound like really old buddy-cops. Like a 1970's ITC crime-fighting duo, taking out bad guys really slowly and sensibly, after we've first discussed it over digestive biscuits and made sure we've got correct change for the bus.

We do seem to work pretty well together, which is quite upsetting since I've observed (accurately) that she's a wittery old beggar. Today we were talking about how long we've been doing this sh*t and it was quite upsetting. We both pre-date the internet. 

In my very first IT job, I had to pick up a big old magnetic tape and run it out to the airfield where a light plane would pick it up and fly it to France so they could process the data. No email. No USB flash drive. AN EFFING EFF-OFF MAGNETIC TAPE. 

"Oh yes," chuckled Smock knowingly, "I've done that as well."

So there you have it. Cardy & Smock. I expect we'll get picked up for a tv show that will get aired on UK Gold or the Yesterday channel any day now.

S. 

p.s. Feefs likes to leave phone messages. I think it is when she is driving. It drives Er Indoors mad because she has to LISTEN instead of just reading. Today's message was:

"Did I read somewhere that you're coming to stay with Lisa Mack in October? OMG that is so awesome we'll be able to go shopping. And I just made a crockpot because I'm so domestic goddess and awesome love you heaps byeee."

Caro's response. "Of course you read it somewhere, effwit. I TEXTED you. Just SCROLL UP."

They make me laugh.

p.p.s. So Er Indoors just called Feefs back. Feefs has been to A&E for what she thinks might be a hernia. 

"And like, you use your stomach muscles for EVERYTHING. Laughing, moving, pooing... it is really annoying."

From what I heard it does not sound like a hernia. I think she has pulled a groin muscle. "And right now I'm lying down. I'm going to have to egg-roll off the bed."

Er Indoors asked if she was SURE it was a hernia. "Could you be pregnant?" she asked. 

"Eff no!" I heard Feefs say. "No! No! Eff!"

I'll keep you all posted.