Tuesday

I couldn't face work today when I woke. I wanted to cry.
I made an appointment with the Dr. I went, knowing he couldn't do anything but I just wanted someone to listen to what I was thinking. I shared my thoughts of suicide, what I would do. I shared the times leading up to the panic attacks, my self harming, my feeling low and distant in the world.
10mins later I left and went home. Slept for the morning.
I drove to Lauriston Castle grounds for a walk, lasted 10mins, came home.
Now enjoying bottles of cider.