A message to you

Dear Richard, the love of my life.

I never appreciate you enough, 
but I try my best to show you how much I care.

Sometimes it's difficult to show a person that you love them without having to say it directly, or without it coming out as anger and sorrow. It's not easy to see the person you love finding joy everywhere but with yourself. It's not easy to keep them close when you know you're struggling. It's definitely not easy to engage with the one you love when you're sad because sometimes it's easier to just let them stay happy with what they enjoy instead of having to put up with petty sadness. But one thing I have learnt is that it IS easy to love, it's easy to yell and blame and argue and hate and if you can overcome all of that then you know the love is pure. You know the love is true. And I know I love him with all of my heart.


I always tell him how I wish he'd tidy up, 
I get angry when he doesn't. 
I wish he'd see me more than two minutes before we sleep, 
I get lonely when he doesn't. 
I wish he'd give me time to prepare to speak,
I get oppressive when he doesn't.
I wish he'd give me time to preach,
I get defensive when he doesn't.
But most of all,
I wish he'd see himself how for how he is,
Sweet and kind and gentle to me,
I get upset when he doesn't.

Despite these things, you are everything to me even when it doesn't seem to be. Sure, I could live without you but it would be awfully crappy. You're messy and you're silly and you think you're not good enough: but I came into this knowing all of these things, and there's no chance I'll leave because of them. You'll always be more than good enough and one day I hope my family will see that too. I appreciate you more than you could imagine. One day I hope to be in a huge house, both of us with successful careers, we'll have cats and dogs and maybe even a child? We'll come home each night to each other and appreciate what we have and we'd be unable to imagine what would've happened if we didn't meet that day after my exam. 

I never appreciate you enough, 
but I try my best to show you how much I care.

So, my message to you?

I love you.