Foul Feet Smell Something Horrible

My Dear Princess & Dear Fellows,

I cleaned the poop deck today. It was, as promised, horrid out there. And the whole time Jasper was inside laughing at me.

Don't get me wrong. I love birds. I think birds are stunningly beautiful but also DIRTY. Coincidentally, this is also how I feel about Cate Blanchett in the film "Thor: Ragnarok"*.

So I swabbed the deck with Dettol and then I soaked everything I used to swab the deck with extra Dettol and then I wiped anything that might have come into contact with the swabbing things with Dettol wipes. And then I took a shower, but no, there are limits.

In fact I used that tea-tree and "tingly" mint body-wash that has been getting quite a bit of notoriety on the internet lately. If you haven't yet seen this lady's review of the product then I must tell you that it IS very rude and includes the word "flaps" in a non-aviation sense. You have been warned.

Personally, the "tingle" is WHY I like it. The first time I used it down-below I thought to myself "Hello!" I thought, "you're not normally this lively at 6am, what's going on down here then?"

So if you've never tried it, I really recommend it. But if you do suffer from sensitive skin then also keep a bottle of calamine lotion and a fire-extinguisher handy.

So anyway, I was fully "minted" this afternoon but I still don't feel properly clean. It is possible I never will again.

However, now that this horrible chore is out of the way I'm feeling pretty virtuous and have rewarded myself to tea and the film "Carry on Screaming". Hence the title of this blip. 

It was either going to be that or "Not Enough Dettol In The World".

S.

* Phwoar