while my catarrh gently weeps

I’ve had a sore throat and a bit of a cold for a couple of weeks now.  With a gig coming up on Saturday I’ve been getting a bit desperate for something that will enable me to sing.

After countless searches on the internet I come across this stuff.  It would appear to be the go-to remedy for thespians and singers afflicted by loss of voice.  (Other remedies are available, but I liked the history and popularity of this stuff.)

It was invented in the 1850s by a pharmacist who lived next door to the Manchester Opera House.  If it was good enough for Dame Nellie Melba and Placido Domingo, then it’s good enough for me.

The hundreds of reviews online attest to its effectiveness, but warn about the taste.  The three key ingredients are, in effect, pepper, rat poison and vinegar.  I’ll leave you to imagine how well it goes down.  I do not have the words to describe it. 

I give it a go before breakfast.  Anniemay watches through her hands as I cough and spit into the kitchen sink.  It reallly is awful.   She asks how I am as I undergo a Jekyll and Hyde transformation.  Instead of my usual early morning whisper, I bellow across the breakfast table. 

By Jove this stuff works.   I can’t say yet what it does for a sore throat or catarrh, but if you need a loud voice ……