Tuesday

I was at the doctor this morning and I told him how I was feeling and thinking. He had no answers, which I knew he wouldn't, but he needs to know what I am thinking.
I have the psychiatrist next week which he is pleased about.
I just really wish I was still seeing my counsellor.

I have had a sore chest and fast heartbeat all day and found it really hard at work not to self harm to relief the situation.
I got home tonight and didn't want to be in the flat, so I went back out for a coffee and got this shot. I still feel like I want to put myself in a dangerous situation and my mind has been thinking allsorts. It took me all my time to focus on driving home.
Been home for less than half an hour and I have given in.