Getting Arty!

I finally started the Rituals Art Journal course I signed up to, this is the video describing it and a free lesson! It's an online course with two pieces of artwork a month based on one's self and the seasons - hence the wheel! The one on the left is filled with how one hopes each month will feel, the one on the right is filled in at the end of the month with the word to describe how it actually felt! As you may remember from my drawing class a couple of years ago, I am not good at drawing! This course felt very in tune with how I am feeling about the coming year, and had a very free-flowing approach. My poor art skills and previous failed attempts at other art courses I signed up to, meant I was scared of starting the January assignment!  I finally decided to go for it and follow the teacher's artwork exactly without worrying about my own creative vision ( or lack of it!) I'm thinking it will at least get me to experiment with all the art mediums I have bought when I attempted to start other such courses. Who knows, as I try I might be inspired to add my own interpretation! 
Today I also finally cleared the list of To Do things I made in January - I had subdivided the list to make it balanced into Tidy, Must Do, Whenever and Fun! Once more I have decided to not make such lists again! It just stresses me out with the things I feel I ought to be doing but don't want or have the inclination or inspiration to do! 
Maybe getting the list finished was what pushed me into a panic attack just 30 minutes before having to go put the hens to bed. It was triggered as usual by a sudden inward, impact feeling in my chest and a feeling of lightheadedness and weakness. I nearly phoned Colourful Mai to cover for me but listened to my calming phone apps and 20 mins later I was fit to go. I listened to positive affirmations audio whilst I did the duties in the plot and all was fine! I'm determined not to allow fear rule my activities and my life - finally believing the woman on my Assistance In A Panic Attack audio that I am safe, my body will not hurt me, it will pass! I ended the day feeling very positive by the fact it was just a short blip and that in fact it's been quite a while since I had such a full-on attack. Maybe next time I won't even be triggered to go into panic mode when I get that feeling again.  Just got to figure out why I get it!