Going round in circles!

Today  I had to phone tax creeps HMRC . First you get an automated response with choices
1 Are you phoning on behalf of 
a a business
b yourself
c construction
d manufacturing
c  if you are pregnant ! etc etc etc.
I chose self! 
Option 2 
a Do you wish to complete self assessment on line
b On paper  I chose online
Option 3  
Go to the web and fill your fecking form there stupid! Goodbye! Line goes dead
As I had already tried the world wide bloody web the other day which told me I need some blooming activation code letter I knew that option didn't work so I phoned back
Automated robotic response
Choose an option 
so she repeats options 1, 2 & 3 Line goes dead!!
I phone again this time I was wise and chose option 3 and said I was pregnant what did I have to lose
This time I get a hooman voice with a Liverpuddlean accent as thick as treacle! I explained I needed this activation letter so she said no problem , jus a few questions!!! (wait for it)  
Right she said, "can I have your date of birth" 
I'm thinking well the only bloody reason I got through to this poor unfortunate hooman woman was cause I said I was pregnant but I couldn't think of a suitable date of birth to tie in with being pregnant so I simply said 26.6.56 which is my date!! (61 for those numerically challenged)
Silence... I thought  they have cut me off again but no, this hooman wasn't to be thwarted and quick as a flash came back at me and said are you sure! At this point my brain is computing do I tell the truth or continue bluffing so I chose bluff. "yes" said I. You got to hand it to these Liverpuddleans they are smart, would that be through natural means of artificial insemination, (did she think I was a right cow!)  "Immaculate Conception" says I "as it's the only way to get through to an advisor"!! I thought the line would go dead but no she persevered and then asked me for my National Insurance number etc. Finally she found my details and said a letter went out to me yesterday so I should have it tomorrow or the next day.  I said thanks for sorting out my problem and she laughed and said I was lucky she was a Catholic with a sense of humour!
I now await the letter and yes I know I am over the damn expiry date but hey ho!