The Apple Doesn't Fall Far!!!

Reading my school report from December 1980 (three months before my seventh birthday) is like reading about Miss E. It's uncanny!!!
She is prone to rushing madly through the book just to 'beat' other children. Ha ha ha ha!!!!!
I'm a bit miffed by the bit about lots of irrelevant news. I remember vividly writing "news" and letting my imagination run riot. It wasn't a case of quantity over quality, it was creative writing!!! 
Mrs L came over for a few hours this morning which was lovely. We were looking at summer holidays which is always a nice way to pass the time!!
So many places to go!!
Miss E is at a Brownie sleepover in Milton Keynes tonight. When she's at sleepovers with friends I know she's having a good time but I have no idea how she's feeling now and I hate it. I miss her!!
It was pretty awful getting ready and dropping her off. I suggested she take her little suitcase but she insisted on cramming everything into a tiny toy rucksack and carrying everything else in her arms. She wouldn't be told it wasn't the best idea.
She was obviously very anxious about the sleepover and working herself up into a complete state.
What if I can't sleep and everyone's asleep and I'm just on my own?
What if I can't wake up in the morning and everyone's up and having fun and laughing at me?
What if I'm the only one in Brownie uniform?
What if we've got the wrong day?
And on and on and round and round.......
I try to be reassuring and comforting but it eventually turns into irritated and impatient. Sigh.
It was even worse when we got there. She started wailing and hyperventilating when she saw a few of her friends in costume and then remembered that they were supposed to have dressed up for the theme of the sleepover: Around the World.
She wouldn't stop despite my repeated assurances that there were lots of people not dressed up but - just like her - in her Brownie uniform.
Then we got into the building and she saw all the suitcases and started fretting again (this time more whispering than wailing because there were people within earshot!!) that everyone had proper suitcases and she just had her teeny-tiny bag. What would everyone think?!!!
I've never known her so bothered by what "everyone" else does and thinks. It was awful.
I can so relate to being the one who is always that bit out of step with everyone else. It's a horrible feeling which doesn't get any easier even at 43!!
I tried to give her hug and a kiss goodbye but she said she didn't want "everyone" to see!!!! Oh my God!!!
She went off into the hall and I was left standing there wanting to cry. Actually wanting to cry. It was awful.
On the way back to the car I stopped to look in the window. 
Expecting the worst.
They were paying catch and Miss E was in the thick of it, beaming away and looking excited.
Thank God!!
I still felt sick driving home. Despite my attempts at reassurance I share all her anxieties!!
Fingers crossed she has a good night.




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