words

i fell in love once and i didnt mean to. i felt i was sideswiped and suddenly i was in love. i know it wasnt sudden. it was a slow process of giving and trying and letting go and saying, "i love you."

words speak things into existence. logos. i said "i love you" and then i did. words like sacraments.

i fell in love once but i never fell out. there was that love. it was a feeble attempt at something. this is sincere. i fell in love, but now i love you.

i ache for words to communicate this love. i read your words and they thrill me. words of life and hope and searching. words that somewhere in a hazy dream i once heard. your words, my words. words words words. but they are like sacraments. containing something much grander. your words free me. your words let me love you, even from here, even now. logos. the sacraments. logos. words words words.

the weakness of my words. their frailty. you always said it so much better. your words always more poetic, concise, and true. my words always forced and rhetorical. proper for an essay, but not for a poem or prose. nothing suitable for the topic of love. or sacraments. or even words.

yet, i love words. i loved because of words. and then there is the logos.

and even ts eliot. who said it better than anyone. ever.

"that was a way of putting it - not very satisfactory:
a periphrastic study in a worn-out poetical fashion,
leaving one still with the intolerable wrestle
with words and meanings." east coker II, four quartets, ts eliot.

that was a way of putting it. here's another. i love you and your words allow me to and so i never want you to stop writing. when you stop writing i wont know you anymore. and i need to know you. even from this distance, ive never loved you more. but dont worry, im not in love anymore.

neither very satisfactory. nor very appropriate for this photo blog probably.

and so it is with words.