So Help Me God

The whole truth and nothing but the truth. Actually, you couldn't make it up...

I'd decided to go to a specialist door and window ironmongery merchant's. Needed a pair of off-set window handles for wooden framed windows. Took in a picture of the kind of thing I needed off the net. I know, berate me, but I was trying to be altruistic in favor of a local trader.

They said that they had an account with the supplier I showed them. But it would be a special order and cost 10 dollars more than the net. Anyway they found me what they reckoned I needed and said they would be in the following Monday.

Went back on Monday; post hadn't arrived. Went back on the Tuesday, with triumphant flourish they produced two 'andulls from the back. But these are for UPVC windows, said I.

Well you can just cut the spindles off the back and then they'll fit. But there aren't any stays said I. Oh no, they said, there aren't are there? And, said I, there's nowt on the handles to fit in a stay anyway!

*Sigh* You'd better have your money back. But you won't get what you need, because that supplier has stopped making what you want.

Went home, onto the website, ordered, arrived next day delivery, now fitted. Go figure.