Q. how do you undo a chocolate nut?

A. with a chocolate spanner

My own nut was undone this morning.

I had a phone call yesterday afternoon asking I would be free for a brain scan today.  Why not? I thought.  Nothing much else on.  

Because this appointment is short notice, there’s no paperwork so we have to do my medical history over the phone.   Again because this is all short notice there’s no ‘what to expect’ information either.  I’ve had MRI scans before.  But not one involving my head.  So what happens next is a bit of a surprise.

I lay on my back and my head is enclosed in a white plastic helmet.  There’s a grill for my nose.  Think Star Wars.  A bit claustrophobic and not a good look.  

“Do you want the radio on?” 
 I nod. 

“What sort of music do you like?”

"All sorts - do you have any Country?”  

Some good old boys singing about dogs and trucks and lost jobs/wives might just take my mind off the here and now.  

“What’s country?”

“Don’t worry - any thing will do.”  Wrong answer.  

A screeching, wobbly, X-Factor type noise blasts into my ears.   I’m about to press the help button to ask them to turn it down, when it’s drowned out by the sound of a pneumatic drill.  My head is inside a pneumatic drill.  The sounds are competing and the drill is winning.

After a while the noise level drops a little - enough to notice that the music has been replaced by two men trying to sell me a holiday.  They in turn are replaced by Dolly Parton just as the drill starts up again. 

And then the sound changes to a cross channel ferry.  The funnel, specifically.  I am so glad I opted for the radio.  I’m also lucky that my appointment is before the Jeremy Vine show - I really would have been screaming to get out.

Eventually both funnel and Dolly fade away and a voice tells me it’s all over.  Results in a week or so.

Back to the blip.  The chocolate spanner is a Christmas present from my daughter.  If you’re wondering about the composition, I bit through the spanner purely for artistic effect.

There’s also a chocolate screw driver.  I may blip that sometime - if I haven’t already eaten it.