Horses Horses Horses Horses

My Dear Princess & My Dear Fellows,

When I was a kid, New Year's Eve was always a big drunken party. All my mum and dad's mates would come round. There would be Matchmakers and crisps and cocktail sausages on sticks and Twiglets that were disgusting and no-one would eat them.

I do not think Twiglets are actually for eating. I think they are just something to put in bowls when you run out of crisps and sausages on sticks. Just for decoration. Like ugly pot pourri.

The grown ups would have adult drinks. Drinks from the 1970's that we don't drink anymore. Snowballs and Babycham and Cinzano Bianco. These were sophisticated drinks that made us kids wrinkle our noses and go "bleah" and then we'd drink all the Coke that was meant for mixers.

At around midnight, the party would get messy. The old folk would be P*SSING themselves laughing trying to play with the toys me & Tups had got for Xmas (I seem to remember they were particularly useless at my Scalextric). And there would be old-person drunken behaviour, like dancing to Boney M and spewing in the shower and peeing at the bottom of the garden.

(All of the above crimes committed by my dad ON THE SAME NIGHT by the way. I was traumatised).

The next day we let our parents sleep in. I don't think we did any of the things you are supposed to do at the turn of the year. We never took stock, or had deep thoughts or changed our lives. We just watched films and ate the remains of the New Year's Party. Except for the Twiglets. 

This year me and Er Indoors aren't attending a big party. We don't know many people here in Wellington and anyway, the both of us love quiet evenings in. It is our way of celebrating. Because I'm a lovely husband, I am putting on lots of romantic comedies - "Play It Again, Sam" and "Something's Gotta Give" and "Sleepless in Seattle".

ER INDOORS: How many times have you watched "Sleepless in Seattle" with me before?
ME: Never. I don't think I've ever seen past "horses horses horses horses" before.

Actually, it's an okay film and I don't know why I've avoided it before. However, my favourite romantic comedy has been "Cactus Flower" which is a little-seen and under-rated film that I love. In the film, Ingrid Bergman does the boogaloo with Goldie Hawn and I ALWAYS laugh. 

But maybe because there's no big party this year I will do that whole taking stock thing. I've gone 48 years with no stock-taking. It could be I'm overdue.

Or maybe I'll find another film. ITV would always put on "The Italian Job" and the BBC would always put on "Zulu" at this time of year. It's a thought.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

S.