Dark mood

Why am I always drawn to one of my favourite sanctuaries when I’m in a dark mood?
I don’t know why, at my time of life, I cannot resolve the emotions caused by trying my best for someone, then being questioned/ criticised for it later, and much later at that.
I know I am, and will be, better off out of the clinical environment, much as I had the privilege to enjoy most of my contacts with patients.
Ah well, it appears I’ve still got some growing up to do!