Saturday

A huge long lie for me this morning. 11.30am. Might have been down to the mulled wine I drank last night.
I cried as soon as I woke.

I was picking Mum up to head to the supermarket. An hour and a half later I took Mum's gifts for Steven and Kelly to them and Lewis wanted to go out on his 'Audi TT with Auntie Sarah'.
So I did for a little while.

I then went for a coffee, but it felt all wrong, I shouldn't have been there. I  left and went for a drive.
I came home and started packing a bag for 3 days with Mum from tomorrow.

Couldn't settle, felt anxious. Self harmed.

Throughout the day at random times I have cried, remembering Grandma. It all feels so strange and surreal.

Thank you all for the lovely comments yesterday.