Gregory's Girl

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

It was an uneventful day. Smock got on my nerves, wittery old beggar that she is. But she's not interesting enough to talk about. Also I stopped to take a picture of this newsagent/museum on Customhouse Quay. But that's it for daily highlights.

I do like the newsagent. They have old photos inside and it is rather pretty. The nostalgic little touches - the red letter box (they are typically grey boxes with no personality here) and the red phone box are decorative only. You can tell it is not a proper phone box because there are no cards advertising French lessons inside and it doesn't smell of urine.

But it wasn't a bad day. I was busy enough that I had to eschew podcasts as being too distracting. Instead I listened to my 80's mix and the thought struck me out of the blue, "I wonder why I'm not married to Claire Grogan yet?"

She was one of a long line of women I was in love with before I ever got a girlfriend. The first woman I ever wanted to marry was Elizabeth Montgomery. I must have been about six years old. It always annoyed me how Dagwood/Derwood/Whatever always got cross with her. If she had married me instead we would have been happy and she could have nose-wiggled up whatever she liked. AND I would have told Mrs. Kravitz to get stuffed.

I also liked Barbara Eden in "I Dream of Jeanie". Not as much as Elizabeth - she was a bit too servile if you ask me. But I did like how handy it would be to have a girlfriend you could carry around in a little teapot-sized lamp. But with my memory it would never have worked out. I would have left her on the bus or accidentally put her in the dishwasher and drowned her.

In the mid-1970's I went through an embarrassing Anthea Redfern/Agentha from Abba stage. I think that was me bowing to peer-pressure. "Phwoar! Blondes!" my dad would say whenever a blonde lady came on the telly*. So I thought we were supposed to prefer them.

I then flirted with the idea of Laura Ingalls on "Little House on the Prairie" for a while as well. Melissa Gilbert and me must have been about the same age when that show started. But actually I think she was a bit immature for me, given how I felt about Anthea and Agnetha. Also, she lived in the 19th century. Ironically too young and too old for me at the same time.

But in the early 80's it was Claire Grogan who was my first real love. All before were childhood fancy. This was the real thing. I think it was because she was actually Gregory's proper mate and not some distant Aphrodite like Dee Hepburn. You could talk to Claire Grogan. And she was as daft as you were. I didn't know girls could be like that until I saw that film.

(This didn't also stop me being in love with Kim Wilde. She was nothing like Claire, and quite honestly looked like a bit of a moody bugger. But I allowed her onto my list because she wore a leather dress on "Top of the Pops" that time.) 

I wonder now if it was "Gregory's Girl" who influenced me years later. Certainly I couldn't imagine myself with someone who has no personality and isn't funny. Er Indoors might like make-up and glamorous clothes but she can also tell a great story and makes me laugh. So it's possible that she is "Gregory's Girl" after all.

I expect this is heartbreaking to hear if you happen to be Claire Grogan. Sorry Claire, you totally missed out on account of having no idea who the eff I am. Still, you've always got John Gordon Sinclair to fall back on. 

Be brave, and try not to think of me the next time you sing "Don't Talk To Me About Love". No tears now.

S.

* My mum was a brunette. Fortunately for dad, a very tolerant one.