"Is there anything you'd like for Christmas?"

"No, just surprise me."

GRRRRRrrrrrrr.

Wandering around Livingston's Designer Outlet like a zombie, staring into the soulless eyes of other zombie husbands. I lost focus only to look up and find myself in the lingerie section in M&S (as opposed to S&M which is a very different kind of shop). I hastily made my exit and went to look at some sturdy brown brogues in my size.