Jasper's Magical Christmas

My Dear Princess,

I opened the box you sent and gave everything in it a good sniff and a good shake. I am unsure what it is you have bought me but I am SOOOO excited to find out.

There may have been capering. That's all I shall say.

So we haven't opened anything. Apart from the little bag, because that wasn't proper wrapped so therefore I have not broken any Christmas rules and Santa will still come to visit. In the little bag were things you said were for my Christmas tree. 

Hmmm. Clearly you do not understand the rules. Let me explain the rules to you.

Anything that you think is mine. Or you think is for me. Or you think you're giving me, actually belongs to the cats. Sometimes the cats are benevolent rulers, and they let me have what I foolishly think is mine. But they get FIRST REFUSAL on EVERYTHING. These are the rules.

For example, if you had sent me chocolate or books, then Jasper and Punky would sniff it, obviously. They might even lick it. But ultimately they would allow me to have it. Punky doesn't care for chocolate and Jasper reads very little these days.

On the other hand, you should never send me a can of tuna or a dead mouse. I'm never going to see it.

So the Christmas ornaments. Jasper saw the robin and took off with it. Like a little fuzzy rocket. "Woohoo! Thank you Princess!" he said. He went BONKERS with it. Then Punky got in on the act as well.

I can't be cross. Look how happy you've made the little chap. Seriously. LOOK AT THAT FACE. "Yay! This is the best Christmas EVER!" is what he is saying as he disembowels Pingu.

That look on his face is the best Christmas present of all. Thank you Princess xx.

S.