Lamp Shade Shop

The bulb burned out in the floor lamp behind the big, brown chair in the living room. When I tried to remove the bulb, the old shade disintegrated in my hands, so I took the lamp in to the neighborhood lamp shade shop to choose a new shade.
Guess how many women it took to change the bulb?
Two: one to hold the lamp, and one to sell me a special-sized, lower profile bulb that'll work well with the new shade she also sold me.