GBBO

Great Big Bloody Outburst

Sorry in advance.

Am tired. Really tired.

Tired of being a single parent and going to work, running a house, worrying about money, worrying about job security knowing I am the only one the girls depend on, worried about the house needing so much doing and every time I go in a room something else has broken that can't afford to be repaired, tired that the car got slashed yesterday and now need two new tyres that I can't afford, tired that every time I need to ring a company it's an 08fucking 45 number and I have to wait half an hour to speak to someone. Tired of being the only bloody adult in this house, the one doing the school runs, the swimming runs, the Brownies run, tired of there being no one around to help and no family near by. Tired. Weepy.

Somewhere in all that I am meant to be a Mum and the poor girls aren't seeing a lot of me being a nice patient mum.

There is no magic answer. Haven't felt like this since about March and that passed and am sure this too will pass.

Day off tomorrow and I am going to sit and read all day I think to try and escape.

On the positive the cakes I made are really really yummy

Determined not to change my journal title to Grumpy Witch from Hell so will have to talk myself out of this and eat more cake. Sugar will be my saviour tonight.

The useful part of me writing all this down is that tomorrow I will use it as a springboard to get back up and change my mindset. There's no other way as deep down I know there are millions of people worse off than this.



xxTune. Nice and loud x