Suffragette City

My Dear Fellows and Dear Princess Normal,

Today I went on the tour of New Zealand's parliament, the one I'd been promising myself I'd do for ages. Me and a group of about 10 other people were escorted around by an excitable Eastern European lady named Violetta.

"Thees building was completed een 1969," she said. "But no foolly operational until 1981 - annyone know why? Ees right - ees because of earthquake protection," she continued, waving her arms about. "When we haff Kaikoura earthquake last year, people from see-tee they come in here and feel very seff."

I understand this. If you haven't seen the Beehive, it looks like a concrete pinecone. Or a 1960's Bond Villain lair. I'll bet it has secret rockets in the basement and can fly, like Thunderbird 2. That would be SO COOL.

It's very 1960's inside too. I felt like I was in an airport terminal where Paul Newman goes to meet Julie Christie before they have adventures. Violetta explained that most of the materials used in the construction of the building were from New Zealand and told us that a large, chunky mural on the wall behind her depicted New Zealand landscapes.

We squinted.

"Ah... eef you walk around you maybe see that eet start with Auckland harbour, then volcano, then lake..." she trailed off. "Sometime I see it, sometime no. Oh well!"

You don't get to spend too much time in the Beehive itself, you are then taken into the adjoining building - the old parliament. We were taken into the Banqueting Hall which was full of tables and chairs. "Eet used to be like private room for members of parliament," said Violetta. "Fool of pool tables and whisky, ah they haff fun in here, yes? And if you lady MP then you get a special corner where you haff nice cup of tea, which is NO FAIR."

She escorted us through into the old Upper House. Like Westminster, NZ used to have two sitting houses, one elected and one appointed. The appointed members were chosen by the sitting government and got to stay there for seven years. Violetta explained that this resulted in administrative gridlock, as new governments came in to find all their plans blocked by upper house members loyal to the previous government.

"So een nineteen-feeftee, the National government appointed twenty-five upper house members and they were called thee 'Suicide Squad'," explained Violetta. "They were appointed purely to aboleesh themselfs, which they deed in nineteen-feeftee-wan. Quite a theeng uh? Nice paid job for seven years and you say 'No!' and aboleesh yourself." She made a ZIP noise. She really was a brilliant guide.

Then she took us into one of the select committee rooms. The furniture made it look a bit like a shabby conference room in a run-down business. Or at least it would have done if not for the panelling on the walls, covered with Maori carvings. They were amazing, and Violetta told us they represented each of the Maori tribes in New Zealand. This was the special select committee room for Maori affairs. Violetta told us the other rooms, "not as nice as thees wan, so I always breeng visitors een here."

She told us the tale of Māui, the demigod who created New Zealand. A carved mural depicting this event was at the front of the room.

"He go out in his canoe - thee South Island - and he feesh up the North Island out of thee sea," she said. "Eef you look at North Island and tweest it kind of look like steengray feesh, uh? Anee-wan know what he use for feeshing hook? Leetle beet horror here for you," she warned. "Feeshing hook was thee jawbone of hees grandmother, sorry, leetle beet horror I think."

She then pointed out the translation booth and told us that there were two recognised languages in this country. Well, of course there are. English and Maori, duh. 

"Nooooooo," she said. "languages is Maori and sign-language haaaa you not know? Yes I surprised also."

From there we went around to the library and the reading room. Then to the basement where Violetta explained about the earthquake proofing that had been applied to both the old and new parliament buildings. It is amazing. All NZ technology, developed here but now being applied around the world. Now I'm no engineer, but as I understand it, both buildings were given solid concrete foundations with occasional gaps. The gaps were then filled with something that looks a bit like a giant Slinky, sitting on a whoopee cushion, which itself is filled with marbles. 

Just to reiterate. Not an engineer. Whoopee cushion. Slinky. Marbles.

So THEN, all the concrete was sliced through horizontally, so essentially both buildings are no longer fixed to the ground by concrete, they are sitting on a bed of Whoopee-Marble-Slinkies. If the ground beneath the buildings shake, these things (140 of them) can move side-to-side by ONE METRE. So they absorb the whole movement, and the building above stays where it is. Isn't that AMAZING? I thought that was amazing.

"So eef you are on ground floor when earthquake happen you feel almost nothing," explained Violetta. "But you no want to be in basement hooooo Mother Nature uh? She can be challenge."

Finally, Violetta told us about Kate Sheppard. She is a legend here in NZ and the locals are very proud of her. She is on the 10 dollar note and you see her name everywhere in Wellington. She was the most prominent of the suffragettes here, and New Zealand women got the vote in 1893 - the first country in the world to do it. The New Zealanders are justifiably proud of this. 

Unfortunately I then had to leave because I was on my lunch hour. So I didn't get to see parliament sitting. Although it is open to the public and I reckon I'll pop in there to check out Prime Minister's Questions one day. "I can no promise she be there, maybe empty seat," warned Violetta. She was referring to Stardust Lil of course. I'm going to have to wait for a day when I know she'll turn up.

On my way out I checked the traffic lights. Violetta had told us that - in Kate Sheppard's honour - the red man gets replaced by a green suffragette when pedestrians can cross. You can see this in the extras. I've also been told that on Cuba Street - Wellington's boho area - the red man turns into a green drag queen. You're going to have to wait another day for that picture.

S.

p.s. As if by magic, the shipping container arrived today! All the crates are now stacked in our hallway. At the moment we are too intimidated to dive into them, but I promise I will look for my notebooks over the weekend.