Fractured

A trip to Tavistock and oh my I struggled. I have no idea why I should have felt so anxious and on the verge of a panic attack. I guess I just have to accept it happens and carry on regardless - which I did! Being occupied seems the best approach, when I was dealing with shop keepers I was fine! The Hospice shop lady was delighted with my Christmas stuff as everything they had put out was bought on the towns Dickensian evening! So absolutely everything on my list ticked off, although my clothes returned home with me to be returned after Christmas. Interestingly she cannot take any Per Una due to designer rights! Only one thing from there so not a biggie and in fact think I will keep it anyway! My fake fur cow skirt was also rejected - which actually I was also pleased about as I do love it! Just not much cause to wear it now I no longer work. I used to wear it when we did anything relating to cows - Food and Farm themes!! I used to do a cow milking dance in it with my children - swaying movements for the cows coming in from the fields, getting them to mime pulling the cow's udders and then spinning them round in their wheelchairs to churn butter! The music was fab for it! Ahh, I did have fun! 
Once I was in my car and heading out from Tavistock I was fine. My final stop before home  was the Recycling depot - where I found this beauty! Peter kindly held it for me! Originally it was a lamp shade - I think I am going to have fun using it and may keep it in my car! I also picked up some rusty plant sticks - one with a bird and the other a butterfly - my friendly depot man let me take  them for free and my lampshade only cost a £1!!
The rest of the day was calm - meditated, had a quick cat nap then played Patience with real cards and not on the computer. Had forgotten what a satisfying and calming game that is to play! 
I'm thinking the trip to the depot encapsulates my situation at the moment - feeling fractured but putting myself together, getting rid of the old and learning to fly free!