Filtering through

News of Tony's death filtered through the vast network of students, contacts, counterparts, admirers and friends all over the world. Many people who'd found out as the news spread wanted to be in touch. Although the shock of hearing the news firsthand will remain with us, finding out remotely means people do not have the collective support that is so comforting.

I haven't lost someone in this way who wasn't a family member and it is hard to understand what level of grief is appropriate. We have been told we can take compassionate leave, but it feels better to be in the office, surrounded by colleagues and friends. I spent the day handling some emotional wobbles, supporting people who were just finding out, and making some small progress with my workload. Tony wouldn't want us to wallow, as that wouldn't do much for the conservation of Balinese cave crabs.

I met up with Rachel, a friend and ex-colleague who worked with Tony for several years, so we could share memories. We strolled around central Cambridge, around 'The Backs', the idyllic strip where several colleges back onto the River Cam. Tony did his PhD at Kings College in the 1970s, and that college is still known to attract the more radical of Cambridge students.

In the evening I had to stay late as I'm preparing for a short trip to South Sudan, leaving this weekend. I was planning to skip the MPhil group's Christmas party but popped in on my way out. I was a party pooper especially when the group did a rendition of Lean On Me, which was very moving in the circumstances and despite my sombre countenance, it was good to be around friends.