Sigh.

This is how i'm feeling. Slightly shit and surrounded by the outdoors and not much else.

I have sat on my own all day pondering what it is that is eating away at me. I can't seem to put my finger on it, and each time I try it just slips out of reach. I am not too phased, i'm sure as always whatever it is will hit me like a train when I am least expecting it. I miss my girlfriend, last time I saw her we were both very drunk and having to say goodbye was quite difficult, along with a bucket load of worry because she could barely walk and I had to put her on her train and wave goodbye.

She's been too busy working to see me like normal on a monday/tuesday, so I feel a little unhappy. Nothing I can't handle however, I think I am seeing her tomorrow, well, fingers crossed she won't cancel.

Only thing thats really getting to me is she isn't replying to my messages, and I know she is busy but it just panicks me because I automatically blame myself, thinking that she doesn't want to talk to me. Though considering how happy we are I don't know why I am always being so stupid.

I think I just miss her. I mostly miss just curling up and chatting, we've been out the past few times we've been together, whereas when she is over at my place we just laze around cuddling and I won't lie, I absolutely love it.

My polaroid film should arrive tomorrow, I've sent two letters today, and I got a bacci tin which is exciting.

I am really really hoping Bethan's allowed to stay the night on friday because its my birthday. and it'd be so perfect to be able to spend the night with her the night I turn 18. So fingers crossed she can.

Feel alone. But meh. I'll be okay I think.