...But Now I Can Weewee....

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

What a RIDICULOUS little man I am. It's not like I get a dignified medical issue wrong with me like appendicitis or tonsillitis or a prolapsed fanny. I have to get something that requires me to wear an eye-patch. And go bumping around walking into walls. Like a crap pirate on rough seas.

I went to bed early last night. It was pretty much the only thing I could do. I started listening to an audiobook on medieval history and then fell asleep. I had lots of freaky-weird dreams about walking into walls. My subconscious has no effing imagination.

When I woke up I was still bleary and teary so decided not to go to work. Honestly. They must wonder what they have hired. In just one month I've had a diseased tooth and now a mangled eyeball. They're going to avoid standing next to me soon, in case I get attacked by a swarm of killer bees on my way to work.

Er Indoors was lovely though. She went to the pharmacist and came back with an effed-up husband toolkit. It included medical tape, cotton wool pads and this eyepatch.

I resisted the eyepatch at first. No-one likes to be mocked and although Er Indoors loves me very much, there is NO WAY she could avoid sniggering. 

Short story time: When Er Indoors had surgery on her nose she left the hospital wearing WHAT LOOKED VERY MUCH LIKE a sock-puppet on the end of her nose. Seriously. It looked like Lamp Chop was squatting on the middle of her face.

I was very sympathetic. "Ha ha ha ha!" I said, being supportive. And Er Indoors understood. Our love for each other NEVER gets in the way of comedy mockery moments. 

So it was with some reluctance that I tried the patch. And naturally, Er Indoors laughed. But WHAT DO YOU KNOW it really worked! I wore it all afternoon and by early evening was feeling good enough to take it off.

So now I am patch free. My eye still feels sticky and yuck, but at least I'm using both balls again.

Eyeballs, people, eyeballs. You are all as bad as Er Indoors.

S.

p.s. The title of today's blip. I TRIED to write "...But Now I Can Seeeeee..." but autocorrect kept changing it to "Weewee". Which is funnier.