Henchman duty

For tonight's work event in London I was asked by Laura, who has organised it, to position myself close to David Attenborough. The idea was to protect him from the baying masses who have been very clever at mobbing him at past events, such as by emerging from cupboards or cracks in the wall. I was also supposed to be on hand for spouting tidbits of information about our projects when there were lulls in the conversation.

In reality myself and a few others were henchmen guarding the door to where Sir Dave was stationed in a side room. A few key supporters were given access but we had to bar entry to the hoi polloi, some of whom had wind of David's presence and were strategically trying to get past.

We spirited him in and out of the panel discussion on conservation and land issues in Kenya, back to where there would be less clamouring. I tried to fill a gap with some blabbering about the current election dramas in Kenya, which received a mixed response. David claimed to be an ignoramus about Africa compared to elsewhere, but revealed he'd been to x, y and z African country, as well as travelling the Zambezi from source to mouth. I think he can feel fairly proud of his full passport.

I should have stuck to talk of walrus mothers holding their babies up in the water column, which was such endearing footage from the first episode of Planet Earth.

It's very difficult to know whether to gush or blather and fundamentally how to make small talk with a 91-year old, even when that is David Attenborough.

The event venue at the Royal Geographic Society was full of artwork of travellers, such as pictured.