This, Is How You Do It

Notorious, though some would say infamous but I couldn't possibly comment, 'Bicep Billy' just couldn't resist giving me a few tips for my gym session tomorrow.

'This is how you do it!' he said as I lay prone, in temperatures of about 3° with a frost just subsiding in what were supposed to be waterproof trousers. I could feel my nether regions going numb and dare I say it uncomfortably damp, as I sat on the lawn.

 'If you are going to be serious in the morning in the gym then you really have to get the stance, focus, look powerful and mean - going for it in every way!' he said giving me the full works as a demo. 'OH PLEASE!' I thought, 'Is this what the local ladies have to put up with? No wonder red squirrels are a rare commodity round here!'