Hallelujah

Hello, do you have five minutes to talk about something that will change your life?

I will interpret your embarrassed mumblings as a sign of assent - thank you.

Yes, I too used to live a life trammelled by the shackles of my own imagination and shackled by the constraints of my own short-sightedness and constrained by... err... Sorry, I've lost my place... Hang on... No, it will only take a few moments and you most certainly won't be late for whatever it is that you are trying to hint at with your body language. It will only take longer if you try to talk.

Where was I? Oh yes - like you, I used to lead a miserable existence in thrall to the outdated idea that, in order to be "cool", all of my pictures had to be in Black and White and that only straight lines and angles could be thought of as "deep" or "clever". But I was wrong! I have seen the light and I want to share that light and to shine it on your miserable, tawdry life (don't interrupt).

Yes, I have seen the ways of the International Church of Colour and Tennis! Who wants to be "cool" or "deep" or "clever"? After all, a large cold puddle is all of those things (apart from "clever") and who wants to be a large cold puddle? Not me!

So just join me in the International Church of ... Where are you going? I haven't finished... Well, at least you must take one of my pamphlets...

Well, goodbye...

(Oh dear!)

Ah!



Hello! Do you have five minutes to talk about...
No?