If I'm good, I'm not good enough

I am disappointed. Much more than I thought I would be. Even though this news was almost fully expected.

I was informed today that I was not accepted to be a semi-finalist for the Emory Scholars Program which grants merit based aid, aid I need. It makes sense, 300 accepted out of 2,500 nominees and the school itself is a reach. Still, I shrug.

What kills is the uncertainty, I won't know if I'm accepted for admittance until the first of May. Oh well?